She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
