people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
