I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize