you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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