I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
