are you still at the devil's house?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
