My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
