How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
