I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
