I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
