he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
