im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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