that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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