what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
