Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
