he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
