i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
