I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
