the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
