I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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