help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
