she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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