I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
