You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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