that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
