i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
