I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
