glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
