put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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