So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize