just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
