You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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