dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
