go do what you do best...puke behind churches
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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