Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
