I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How external is "for external use only"?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
