If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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