paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Pants are for mortals
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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