Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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