Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
