honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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