This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
