what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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