yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
