you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
