I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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