I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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