So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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