Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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