tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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