dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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