I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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