this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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