I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
