I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
time to smoke my breakfast
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
