sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
