I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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