too bad you live with your parents still
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
