Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
