I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
