idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
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Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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