he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize