do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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