I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
